Wedding Update

1. We should have went to Vegas and gotten married by Elvis. It would have been simpler.

2. I have yet to figure out a way to not be in the spotlight on my wedding day. If I could get married by proxy, I'd probably do it because I don't want to be up in front of people, especially in a freakishly huge ivory gown (definitely not my customary black or navy blue garb) that in no way allows me to fade into the background.

3. Realizing that my last name will change is oddly disturbing. Believe it or not, one of my fellow teachers thinks I'm suffering some depression from it. They never tell you that when you sign up to do this whole marriage thing.

4. I feel guilty about registering and having people throw showers for me. I hate having people make a fuss over me and it was downright weird picking out things for people to buy. Yes, it still feels weird even though several people have extolled the wisdom of registering to me. What's even more weird is seeing it in the Delta News for The Victorian and Overturfs. That seems to make it more real and kind of feel like a rollercoaster that I can't get off of, no matter how much I might try.

5. Cake is expensive! GOOD GRIEF! And nothing I've found is sugar free. What about those of us who are sugar challenged?!? Come on people, if they can make awesome sugar-free peanut butter cups why can't we have sugar free wedding cake?

6. For all of my friends who are devout Catholic, please be advised that coming to my wedding may potentially be "formally cooperating with evil". Kenny got his letter, supposedly from Rome, and they told him his petition was "completely without merit" even though Burke wrote a letter, as did a psychiatrist, and others in the know supporting and advocating his laicization. He's been told to re-apply when he's 40, because I guess that's some kind of magic number. Unfortunately, we've been told - per my doctor- if we want to even entertain the notion of becoming parents, we need to get busy (sorry, no innuendo intended), so we don't feel like we can wait three more years to get married until he turns 40. As a result, we're getting married at St. Peter's United Church of Christ here in Washington, MO. And, to further guarantee my seat on the 747 to Hell according to Bishop Herman, we're getting married by a female pastor. My parents and family are totally cool with it. His family, possibly not so much. I'll let you know if a nuclear blast ensues when they find out.

7. I'm going to totally break with "proper etiquette" and not hand address our invitations. Sorry people, I'm so stressed out right now that my handwriting has devolved to practically unreadable. Be glad I'm typing this!

8. That show Bridezillas scares the crap out of me! I'm terrified that I'm going to turn into one of them and then please, somebody just shoot me! Those crazy women need to be slapped repeatedly until they calm down.

9. Our reception is kid friendly, so for all of you out there getting invites with small children, please don't feel like you have to find a babysitter or you can't attend our wedding. I'm trying to figure out stuff to put together for some "kid tables" so they will be entertained. We're not serving alcohol and we're not having a dance, so there won't be loud music blaring, people getting stupid and arrested, etc. If you have any suggestions for things to keep the kiddos occupied (like your child's favorite activity), let me know. Our wedding and reception isn't going to be an all day affair. We're still getting married at noon, reception to follow at Beaumont Scout Reservation at 1:30, and hopefully it will all be over by no later than 5:00 or 6:00. At least this is the plan unless I end up in the funny farm first!

10. Yes, you're reading our Target registry correctly: we registered for garden gnomes and Farkle. The gnomes are awesome! They're cast iron and vaguely resemble my dad dressed up in a gnome outfit. We want to use them to prop the doors in our house open when we turn on our attic fan. Farkle is a dice game and the name just cracks me up, especially when Kenny's mom asks me if I want to Farkle at family gatherings. It's actually kind of fun, sort of like Yahtzee. Yes, we registered for a Wii, not that we expect anyone to purchase it for us, but we can go back and purchase stuff off our registry with a discount, so that's our plan. We're not crazy enough to think anyone else would be crazy enough to buy us a Wii. However, if any of you win the lottery, feel free!