I must say, this is my favorite commercial of the past six months. I howl (no pun intended) everytime it comes on TV.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Karma
This is my ex-sister-in-law's car. While I usually don't take joy in other people's misfortune, I had to chuckle over this one. It's usually someone in my immediate family who is the wrong place at the wrong time. As my brother said, he should send this in to Mastercard for the following commercial:
Divorce: $1200
Bills left over from the 1st marriage: $38000 (That she walked away from without helping my brother pay for; yeah, I kind of have a problem with that one.)
Seeing a tree fall on your ex-wife's car after she dropped the insurance: Priceless
Don't worry, she has a new car to drive, so I'm not totally heartless. She was selling this one because the computer went out on it. I know, I know, I need to go to confession for even thinking perhaps this is some sort of karmic justice. But after watching my family go through the hell their marriage and divorce has put us through, especially my parents, it does make me wonder if what goes around comes around in one way or another.
What's Wrong with this Picture?
Our school counselor e-mailed this picture to me. Notice the power strip floating on flip flops? Here's the picture that should be by the definition of "idiot" in the dictionary!
Friday, January 25, 2008
What's In a Name?
Well, I think a lot is in a name. It is a common practice to name a child after someone in the Bible or after a saint, with the hope that the child will become someone of faith themselves or exhibit the good qualities of the person they're named after. Names, in a large part, end up defining who we are. I'm a Debbie; I can't imagine being named anything else. Our names are one of the first words we learn. We learn to respond to it before we know how to talk. It's one of the very first words we learn to spell and write. Whether we like it or not, we're stuck with our names for life, for the most part. Our names aren't like a pair of shoes; if you don't like your name, it's not easy to get rid of it As a result, I think parents give a lot of thought to names. Well, most parents that is.
I've been doing quite a bit of paperwork at school this week, and I've come to realize that some parents may not view naming a child with the long term consequences of giving their child a particular name. Either that or they were completely on drugs, both legal and illicit, when choosing their children's names. How do I know this? Here is my proof - names of students either I have now or have had in the past:
Chiquita (as in the banana)
Campbells (as in the soup)
Boston (after the band, not the city) (Okay, maybe I can let that one slide.)
Nutter (Don't ask! This is a boy's given name in our school- I checked out the copy of his birth certificate in his permanent file. Perhaps after Nutter Butters?)
Tiass (I have no idea, but you can imagine how she got made fun of the year I had her in class.)
Tarantula (Yep, like the spider.)
and my last two personal favorites
Diamond
and
Desire
Honestly, I think the parents of the last two girls didn't realize that they were giving their daughters stripper/hooker names. At least I hope they didn't. Unfortunately, their preteen daughters come to school every day dressed like women who practice those professions. So, maybe our names help give us a sense of who we are or at least a sense of style. I don't know. I just hope I'll stop and think about the names I give to my child and don't saddle them with a name that is cheap or brings about lifelong taunting by their peers.
I've been doing quite a bit of paperwork at school this week, and I've come to realize that some parents may not view naming a child with the long term consequences of giving their child a particular name. Either that or they were completely on drugs, both legal and illicit, when choosing their children's names. How do I know this? Here is my proof - names of students either I have now or have had in the past:
Chiquita (as in the banana)
Campbells (as in the soup)
Boston (after the band, not the city) (Okay, maybe I can let that one slide.)
Nutter (Don't ask! This is a boy's given name in our school- I checked out the copy of his birth certificate in his permanent file. Perhaps after Nutter Butters?)
Tiass (I have no idea, but you can imagine how she got made fun of the year I had her in class.)
Tarantula (Yep, like the spider.)
and my last two personal favorites
Diamond
and
Desire
Honestly, I think the parents of the last two girls didn't realize that they were giving their daughters stripper/hooker names. At least I hope they didn't. Unfortunately, their preteen daughters come to school every day dressed like women who practice those professions. So, maybe our names help give us a sense of who we are or at least a sense of style. I don't know. I just hope I'll stop and think about the names I give to my child and don't saddle them with a name that is cheap or brings about lifelong taunting by their peers.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Fun on TheraFlu
I've managed to catch the flu from the rugrats again this year. As a result, I'm at home, drugged up, watching stuff on the TV during bouts of being awake and going back to sleep. During the day, there's this show called A Haunting on the Discovery Channel. Here's a handy piece of advice for you. Don't take cold medicine, lay down, and go to sleep watching this show. You want to talk about messed up dreams. I have enough messed up dreams when I'm feeling relatively normal, so you can only imagine what my dreams are like when I'm sick, on drugs, and fall asleep watching some tv show about a house that's possessed by demons due to the previous owners being devil worshippers holding black masses and the demons are now attacking the new owners. WHOA! Not fun, not fun at all.
On the other hand, I fell asleep later on this afternoon after another bout of medicine with the TV on CMT and they've got this show on alled 20 Greatest Redneck Moments. As I'm drifting off to sleep I hear the song "Convoy". Now, since I've been awake, this song is stuck in my head. All I need is to switch to a movie channel and fall asleep to reruns of Smoky and the Bandit. I love being on cold medicine.
On the other hand, I fell asleep later on this afternoon after another bout of medicine with the TV on CMT and they've got this show on alled 20 Greatest Redneck Moments. As I'm drifting off to sleep I hear the song "Convoy". Now, since I've been awake, this song is stuck in my head. All I need is to switch to a movie channel and fall asleep to reruns of Smoky and the Bandit. I love being on cold medicine.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Warning, Teacher Rant in Progress
I wouldn't call this a kicking, screaming rant, but more of an "I don't get it" rant. We are required to do mid-year reading tests in our program. The test we have to give takes 2 days, 20 minutes for Vocabulary, 35 minutes for comprehension. We have found that before Christmas is not a good time to take the tests - the kids are hyped up on way too much sugar. The first week back isn't good either, we're dealing with slugs. Literally, my students slink into my room that first week in January looking like slugs. So, we give it the second week back to school.
Okay, here's what I don't get. In every class, I heard some variation of I don't want to do this. The lady I team teach with finally lost it yesterday afternoon and told one of our more obnoxious students, "I don't recall asking you what you wanted to do." Then one of our more difficult students said, "Can I flunk this? What happens if I flunk this? I'm not even gonna try because they don't give me a grade for this." I wanted to tell this student, "No, you don't get a grade, but this is recorded on your permanent records, so if you want to look like a moron, go right ahead." I didn't say that but gave the you-need-to-do-your-best speech with helpful hints on what to do if you get stuck. When I was a student, I can't remember saying to a teacher "I don't want to do this," and it making a big difference. I got to thinking about saying something like this to Mrs. Rascher, or Mrs. Blough, or any of the other teachers I had in High School or even my professors in college. Yeah, that would have went over like a ton of bricks in any of my classes. Heck, it would go over like a ton of bricks now at my classes at MU. Where do these kids get the idea that they just don't have to do anything they don't want to do? What's going to happen to them when they have to get a job and the boss tells them to do something that they don't want to do? Does telling their parents that they don't want to do something get them out of chores at home? It would have gotten me a blistered backside and I still would have had to do what my parents told me.
So we do the vocab part. The student who said he wasn't going to try didn't. We kept telling him to slow down, check his answers, blah, blah, blah. I graded the vocab part last night and he bombed it. When I handed the answer sheet back to him today to complete the comprehension section, he yelled at me, "Why did you make me miss all of these?" Excuse me, I didn't make you miss all of them. I should have sent him to the office, or assigned him a detention. Unfortunately, that wouldn't make a difference or change the behavior. In our school, it's like a badge of honor to see how many detentions you can get assigned. What I would really like to do is smack him upside his head and tell him to wake up, not everything in life is easy, and he's going to have to do a lot of things he doesn't want to do or he'll find himself living in a van down by the river (sometimes Chris Farley said some relevant things)or living in his parents' basement. I wonder if his parents plan on supporting him because he won't be able to hold down most jobs with the attitude that he has. He didn't try on the comprehension section, so even though we've worked our tails off this semester to show improvement in his reading level, when I finish scoring his test, it's going to stink. That low score is what will be recorded and quite frankly will be the bottom line when the adminsitration looks at how effective our program is.
To add insult to injury, last night I happened to be glancing through the want ads in the local paper. The St. Charles County Sheriff's Dept. has an opening for a dispatcher. This job provides full benefits and requires only a high school diploma. When I looked at the salary, I wanted to cry. Starting salary for this job, which only requires a high school diploma, is $500 less than what I earn right now with 10 years of experience and a master's degree. Yet people wonder why teachers are leaving the field and you're considered a veteran after 5 years. Reading something like that and dealing with the kids I deal with on a daily basis makes me wonder why I am doing this job at all. But days like I've had this week make me more worried about what our country is going to look like in about 20 years.
Okay, here's what I don't get. In every class, I heard some variation of I don't want to do this. The lady I team teach with finally lost it yesterday afternoon and told one of our more obnoxious students, "I don't recall asking you what you wanted to do." Then one of our more difficult students said, "Can I flunk this? What happens if I flunk this? I'm not even gonna try because they don't give me a grade for this." I wanted to tell this student, "No, you don't get a grade, but this is recorded on your permanent records, so if you want to look like a moron, go right ahead." I didn't say that but gave the you-need-to-do-your-best speech with helpful hints on what to do if you get stuck. When I was a student, I can't remember saying to a teacher "I don't want to do this," and it making a big difference. I got to thinking about saying something like this to Mrs. Rascher, or Mrs. Blough, or any of the other teachers I had in High School or even my professors in college. Yeah, that would have went over like a ton of bricks in any of my classes. Heck, it would go over like a ton of bricks now at my classes at MU. Where do these kids get the idea that they just don't have to do anything they don't want to do? What's going to happen to them when they have to get a job and the boss tells them to do something that they don't want to do? Does telling their parents that they don't want to do something get them out of chores at home? It would have gotten me a blistered backside and I still would have had to do what my parents told me.
So we do the vocab part. The student who said he wasn't going to try didn't. We kept telling him to slow down, check his answers, blah, blah, blah. I graded the vocab part last night and he bombed it. When I handed the answer sheet back to him today to complete the comprehension section, he yelled at me, "Why did you make me miss all of these?" Excuse me, I didn't make you miss all of them. I should have sent him to the office, or assigned him a detention. Unfortunately, that wouldn't make a difference or change the behavior. In our school, it's like a badge of honor to see how many detentions you can get assigned. What I would really like to do is smack him upside his head and tell him to wake up, not everything in life is easy, and he's going to have to do a lot of things he doesn't want to do or he'll find himself living in a van down by the river (sometimes Chris Farley said some relevant things)or living in his parents' basement. I wonder if his parents plan on supporting him because he won't be able to hold down most jobs with the attitude that he has. He didn't try on the comprehension section, so even though we've worked our tails off this semester to show improvement in his reading level, when I finish scoring his test, it's going to stink. That low score is what will be recorded and quite frankly will be the bottom line when the adminsitration looks at how effective our program is.
To add insult to injury, last night I happened to be glancing through the want ads in the local paper. The St. Charles County Sheriff's Dept. has an opening for a dispatcher. This job provides full benefits and requires only a high school diploma. When I looked at the salary, I wanted to cry. Starting salary for this job, which only requires a high school diploma, is $500 less than what I earn right now with 10 years of experience and a master's degree. Yet people wonder why teachers are leaving the field and you're considered a veteran after 5 years. Reading something like that and dealing with the kids I deal with on a daily basis makes me wonder why I am doing this job at all. But days like I've had this week make me more worried about what our country is going to look like in about 20 years.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Fun TV Watching
Okay, by now you all realize that like every other bride-to-be, I am slowly becoming fascinated by wedding shows. Well, I've found a new one. If you happen to be sitting at home on a Friday night, may I suggest checking out CMT's "Redneck Wedding". It's hosted by Tom Arnold (there's a joke there, I'm sure) and on this show, you will see some of the most messed-up folk on the planet. Consider it a primer on what not to do if you want to plan a wedding that is normal. Kenny and I sat there and he kept asking if this was for real, which I told him I'm sure it probably was for real if not a little hyped up for the cameras. It's pretty sad, yet funny in an "I know people who would do this" kind of way. It comes on right before or right after Country Fried Videos (which Kenny fondly refers to as my family videos). I retalliate and find shows about gangsters and The Godfather and ask him if this looks familiar. While my family may seriously consider putting a picture of the buck that was shot during deer season on the front of their Christmas cards, I can honestly say that no one in my family blew up their home making illegal hooch during Prohibition. This is the claim to fame one of his ancestors has apparently. In any case, the show is good for a few laughs, but don't expect ANYTHING like it from us.
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