Merry Christmas, I guess...

Christmas isn't exactly my favorite time of the year. My feelings have been like this pretty much since 1990 when my granny died right before Christmas. It continued three years later when my grandpa died right before Christmas. Two years ago, I lost a good friend, Sandy, right before Christmas in a horrific car accident. I don't know, to me this time of the year just gets depressing and nothing seems to go right.

This year has proven spectacularly disastrous for my family and friends. Late Saturday, the husband of one of my best friend's at work lost his long, hard-fought battle with cancer. Mrs. Summers, a friend of the family passed away on Tuesday. My friend Clint lost his grandfather on Tuesday morning. This afternoon, my Aunt Sue passed away.

And if you live anywhere in the Bootheel, you've heard about the accident my father was involved in and the resulting death of Mr. Downing. What makes matters worse is that I occasionally visit a hateful site called Topix and read the Malden forum. I've read posts that are funny, posts that are ridiculous, but overall, the posts are downright hateful. Anyone and everyone can be targeted from school teachers, to business owners, council members, principals, firefighters, police officers, you name it. To me, it seems that the primary purpose of this website is to destroy reputations and lives. Here for your reading pleasure is a lovely little post I copied and pasted directly from Topix concerning the ACCIDENT on Saturday. Yeah, it kind of got under my skin.

Paid Firefighter
Saint Louis, MO
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|Report Abuse |Judge it! |#8 Yesterday
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"Another case of a Vollie Firefighter running his blue light thinking he's a real professional firefighter. I hope the Downing family sues the hell out of this guy. Nine chances out of ten the guy was flying to a grass fire or some call that running code 3 was not necessary. My family has known the Downing family for years, Mr. Downing was a good bussiness man he will be missed. My condolences to the family."

I tried to respond on Topix to this individual (not exactly the term I'd like to use to describe this individual). Unfortunately, either you have to be a member - which I refuse to do because unlike most people who get on that site and run their mouths, I'm not a coward and will own up to words that are my own- or my post was too long. Either way, there are some things I'd like to say.

1. People in Malden should be grateful there are a bunch of "Vollie Firefighters" who are willing to serve. Without them, there wouldn't be fire protection. Currently the only full time employees of the fire department in Malden are 4 drivers. Only 2 are on duty at a time. The last time I checked, it generally takes more than 2 people to fight a fire or perform an extrication.

2. It's easy to critizice people when you sit behind a computer and won't use your real name. As a matter of fact, I think it makes people much bolder. They will say things about people that they wouldn't have the courage to say to their faces. Interesting how the computer age has inspired this kind of "courage". Out of all the posts on Topix concerning the accident, only one person, Ken Ozbun, used their real name. I tried, but like I said, my post never appeared. I did use my real name - I guess I sometimes am a little bit courageous, or a little bit pissed off, if you want to know the truth. Although he'll probably never read this, I'd like to tell Ken thank you for what you posted. You basically got to the heart of what I had to say. Maybe coming from a "professional" ems person, the point will be taken more seriously.

3. Yes, my father is a volunteer firefighter. Most small towns in the Bootheel rely on those volunteer firefighters. My father has been working for the Malden Fire Department in one form or another for 40 years come February. During those 40 years, he's responded to and fought countless fires. Most of my memories of holidays, family occasions, church services, and yes, even some family funerals and visitations involve the tones dropping and my dad leaving to go help someone else out. He would come home tired, dirty, sometimes disturbed by the burned and mangled bodies he pulled out or a house or a car. I'm sure his memories are more grusome than most of us care to know. I can tell you there are things he can't and won't talk about. But here's the thing, he gets out there and does it, for much less pay than "professional firefighters" make (to the tune of $65,000-$70,000 as starting pay in some districts up here in the St. Louis area). Yes, he didn't attend the academy, but he has taken numerous classes and training seminars. He has 40 years of experience fighting fires and more years of experience working on automobiles which has definitely come in handy where extrications are concerned. I learned a long time ago that a diploma from a college, a university, or even a Fire Academy doesn't make you a professional. It's just a pretty piece of paper that you pay a lot of money to get. Professionals are created from the baptism by fire that is only learned through real world experience.

4. When the fire or emergency is at your house or concerns you, the first responders can't get there fast enough. I lived in Malden a long time, and while I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, I did observe some things. If the police and firefighters drive at a necessary speed to respond to an emergency, they drive too fast and are criticized. If they don't get there in what people consider to be an "appropriate" amount of time, they are criticized. As a matter of fact, there are several posts on the Malden forum that say that the police department and the fire department are financial drains on Malden and that the city would be better off without them. Here's the funny thing, without the fire protection currently offered by the Malden Fire Department, citizens of Malden would see their home insurance rates increase. Who would be critiziced for this -the city and the fire department. It's easy to sit an criticize and not be a part of the solution. The last time I checked, there wasn't exactly a long line of volunteers or professional firefighters lining up outside Station 3's doors on fire meeting nights to sign up to provide fire protection for the citizens of Malden.

5. " I hope the Downing family sues the hell out of this guy." Well, you can't get blood out of a turnip. My father worked in auto body shops and as a driver for the fire department and then as a teacher - none of those jobs get you rich in this lifetime, especially in the Bootheel. Any "extra" money he made as a "Vollie Firefighter" was spent long ago trying to make ends meet. My parents aren't exactly rolling in money and I seriously doubt anything they have would be worth what they would be sued for. My family is poor, plain and simple. I'll be honest, my grandparents were sharecroppers. I'm the second generation away from sharecroppers! I wonder if this comment would even be posted if my family were one of Malden's elite, supposedly wealthy families. I sincerely doubt it. But we're not one of the wealthy families; we don't belong to the country club; we're just pissants, as my mom and dad have fondly described my family's status in the popularity contest that comes with living in a small town. No matter how hard you work, it doesn't make any difference. Nothing ever changes. I don't know the Downing family well, but I hope they are not as vindictive as "Professional Firefighter" (yes, insert dripping sarcasm here in reference to his "name") hopes and apparently believes they are.

6. Here's the truth. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! My father was responding to an emergency call with his lights on, his headlights flashing, the siren going, and probably blowing his horn. For whatever reason, Mr. Downing didn't see or hear him coming and pulled out into the path of my father's vehicle. You can't stop on a dime. I've been involved in a couple of accidents in my life and you don't have to be "flying" as Professional Firefighter puts it to cause quite a bit of damage. Was I there? No, I was up here in Washington. But I have read the comments and heard quite a bit about what people who did see the accident have reported. All have said that my father didn't have anywhere to go and didn't have time to stop. I do know that he tried to miss him. If you don't believe me, take a drive past Charlie Cooper's house and check out his yard and flagpole.

7. I am especially angry that some people are implying that my father was being negligent or apparently has no concern about what happened. Yes, the rumor mill even reaches four and a half hours north to Washington, MO. For those people who are implying this and spreading these rumors, it is obvious they do not know my father or my family. I have sometimes been in the car with my dad when he has had to respond to a fire or another emergency. Yeah, he didn't just pull over and kick me to the curb. The first thing he'd tell me was to put on my seatbelt. The second thing he would do was to do everything he could to alert other drivers that he was coming through. The third thing he would do would be to drive as fast as he felt was safe without endangering other drivers, himself, or me. Keep in mind that my brother was in the vehicle with him. If I know one thing, my father would rather hurt himself than hurt one of his children. Obviously since he has volunteered for years to fight fires and pull people out of mangled cars, he has more concern for others than for himself. Firefighting, even just "volunteering", is a dangerous vocation, and yes, I believe it is a calling. You have to be a special breed to run into a burning building when everyone else is running out. Yes, even in Malden, they go into the burning buildings. For anyone to say my father and my family hasn't been affected by this is lying, plain and simple. I would have no trouble telling them that to their faces. Unfortunately, having the last name of German often means that we tend to speak our minds. What I do know is that when the word came that Mr. Downing had passed away, my father and my family was extremely upset, and continue to be so. Having lost so many of our family members at Christmas, we in no way would ever wish this on anyone, especially not someone as fine as Mr. Downing was. How dare people spread these hateful lies, especially in this time of supposed good will toward all men. Right now, I'm having a hard time feeling that for some of the gossips in Malden.

8. While I grew up in Malden, had great friends (and still do have a great number of friends in Malden whom I love and respect), and received the start in education that has gotten me where I am today (THANK YOU Mrs. Rascher, Mrs. Blough, Mr. Blackiston, Mr. Carman, Mrs. Scott, Mrs. Powell, Mrs. Bess, Mrs. Bachelor, Mrs. Roth the list could go on and on), I thank the good Lord every day that I left. All I feel when I go home is an abiding sadness and depression at what my hometown has become. It is slowly, but surely dying, for a number of reasons. While I'm sure the lack of industry and the resulting lack of jobs has a great deal to do with this, I can't help but wonder if this attitude of sit back and complain about everyone and everything instead of working to make things better isn't part of the problem.

By the way, I'm not afraid to use my real name. Sincerely, Debra German

I'm Stuck....

....at school. I have a flat. I can't even begin to get the tire off. I know this from past experience. So, I've called Kenny, who is now probably thinking, "Curses! Why didn't I put her on my Triple A so she could just call them and I wouldn't have to mess with this!" Oh well, the best laid plans....

Saw Vince Gill on the 19th of September. It was outstanding. Him, about 8 guitars, and songs that I haven't heard in years. Yeah, he's still my get out of marriage free card. Kenny keeps telling me he really enjoyed the concert. I'm always surprised that he enjoys himself when I drag him to some crazy concert. He did in fact draw the line at 311 and Snoop Dogg though. I didn't really want to see Snoop Dogg in concert, but I would have loved to see 311. Sometimes I miss my college years.

Speaking of college years, I can say that I know someone who has won a reality show. I was still around the Music Department when Neal E. Boyd showed up. I happened to catch his audition this summer. I was flipping channels, saw him, kept flipping, and thought "That looks like Neal Boyd." Sure enough, it was. Kenny and I caught last night's performance and win while flipping back and forth between Criminal Minds and America's Got Talent.

Wish me luck. I'm going to buy my wedding dress this Saturday. My mom, my sister, possibly 2 aunts now, Sebrina, maybe Andrea, maybe Carmel, 2 assorted friends who've known me for a long time, and Robbie and Mellissa (yep, young kids are coming along - this should be interesting) are headed to the bridal shop at 10:30 on Saturday morning. Robbie's big request for this weekend - Cheesy Chicken, Fruit Roll-ups, and chili dogs. That's what I call the meal choice of champions! Kenny's making a small batch of Cheesy Chicken and a large pot of chili since it's turned cold and we'll be feeding a bunch of people. I'm in charge of the corn muffins, buying the fruit roll-ups, and making sure we have enough breakfast food to feed everyone. I'll let you know how it goes. Right now, the big debate is veil or no veil. I'm not sure what I want to do, or how I want to wear my hair, etc. I guess I need to start thinking about it and figure it out. It just seems weird to do so in October when we aren't even getting married until May.

Speaking of October, I can finally break out all of my Halloween decorations in my classroom. Our school still lets us decorate for Halloween and I wore my first pair of Halloween socks yesterday. I'm getting quite a collection and it always helps when Target has a whole bin of them in the dollar spot. Teachers love the dollar spot - believe me, I hit it every time I go to the store. I'm considering picking up some pumpkins from the Farmer's market here. I know I'll have to wait until closer to Halloween to carve them, but there are some really cool pattern books available at Michaels for pumpkin carving. Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. It doesn't stress me out like Christmas, it falls on a Friday this year, and it is mostly about having fun.

Now, I've got to get out there and figure out what I'm going to do about my car. Hopefully it will be an easy fix, and not cost too much. Oh well, life goes on.

The Countdown Begins

Okay, mark your calendars for May 30, 2009, High Noon, St. Francis Borgia Church, Washington, MO. Why?

I'm getting hitched!

That's right, Kenny and I are making it official. These are tentative plans so if anything changes, I'll post. We're still waiting on a letter from Rome, which should be here any day now, so we're just going ahead and planning like it's going to be here. We're planning on a Mass, but if the letter doesn't come through, we're getting married one way or the other. By the time we are able to get married, it will be 18 months since his paperwork has been in Rome.

I'm a little overwhelmed. I seriously considered the convent. He left the priesthood. Neither of us ever thought we'd get married. I'd resigned myself to ending up like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons. He'd resigned himself to wearing the sin fighter suit forever, regardless of how miserable he was. Sometimes it takes God a while to smack you upside the head, get your attention, and say, "HEY! YOU! Look what I've put right in front of your face!" Of course, we can be a little slow on the uptake, too.

I have finally found a bridal shop, Chatfields, that specializes in rather unique bridal gowns. They cater to pregnant brides (which I'm not), Mormon brides, Orthodox Jewish Brides, and folks like me who are of the Weeble People variety and want sleeves. The lady is really nice and when I went to check out the shop and see what they had, she had me trying on tons of dresses before I knew what hit me. I've narrowed it down to 3. My Mom, Sebrina (Matron of Honor), Andrea (Bridesmaid), Carmel (Friend that Rocks), and Abby (my 13 year old Goddaughter who looks way too mature for 13!!!) are headed up here to help me narrow it down.

Without being too cheesy, because I hate mushy stuff, when I saw myself for the first time in a wedding gown, I burst into tears. I had been cracking up in the dressing room because it was more dress than I'd ever been in. All I could think of was the line from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" - "I look like the abominable snow beast." Then she put me up on that stand thing, fluffed the dress, and told me to look and I completely lost it. Why? I'm not sure. I never really thought I'd get married, so I had kind of quit planning for anything or even visualizing anything. Even after we got engaged, I guess I kind of figured something would go wrong and we'd split up or it really wouldn't happen. Then it hit me what we were really doing and I guess it kind of freaked me out. That whole "till death" thing is a really long time! I love him, I'm sure I want to be married to him, but it hit me how serious this is. Weird, I know, but there you have it.

In any case, friends, mark your calendars for the 30th of May. I'm sure much hilarity and stress will ensue between now and then, so I'll be posting.

Game ON!!!!

Okay, for people not from Malden, and specifically that didn't run around with my friends from High School, this post probably won't mean much to you. However, for all of my friends from Malden and their parents, you'll get it. My mom just called me, cracking up and said, "Game on, I just found Jackie Nalley!" Let the games begin! Apparently he's out of prison and back in town.

Where has the summer gone?

Not too long ago, it seemed like I would have enough time to catch up on my blogging. Unfortunately, I went on vacation, came back and went to work, and school is kicking my butt. What else is new.

The new job is more than a challenge. It's only week three and I've already spent more hours than I care to count sitting at my desk, crying, and trying to figure out how to teach these kids the GLE's and lay the foundation that they're lacking. It's taken us 5 days to write numbers in word form. They have trouble recognizing numbers and they don't know the words for numbers. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to teach them exponents - but we don't even know basic multiplication facts. I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but tonight is the first night I've been home from school before 6:30 PM or later. I'm getting there at 7:00 AM. I'm tired and getting ready to go to bed. Yes, I have my own homework to do, but I can barely organize my thoughts to type this post.

Before I sign off for the evening, here are a couple of highlights from the end of my summer:

1. Nashville - We got to stay at the Opryland Hotel which is just insane! The beds in our room were amazing. I kept asking Kenny if we could figure out how to get four matresses down the elevator, strapped to the top of my car, and back to MO without getting caught or noticed. The hotel was neat to stay in, but very expensive. If it hadn't been for his having a conference there, we wouldn't have ever stayed there. We did a lot of the nerd stuff (plantations, historic tours), we did a bit of the tourist thing (we escaped to the Wild Horse saloon one night - I was hungry for "real food" instead of the "gourmet fair" being offered at all of the dinners at the conference - a barbeque sandwich and fried pickles did the trick - plus it was free admission with our room key) and of course, we did the country fan stuff. The Grand Ole Opry tour, a show, the Ryman, the Country Music Hall of Fame - I had a blast. Kenny was more diplomatic - his comment was it was nice to finally see pictures of all these people whose strange music I force him to listen to.

2. Dolly Parton - Yep, I finally got to see her at the Fox. It was by far one of the more bizarre concert experiences I've ever had - even stranger than CSNY with the clouds of pot smoke wafting through the night air. The Fox was packed and the crowd was mixed. There were people with oxygen tanks and walkers along with young families. Teenage girls and drag queens. Beside Kenny was a young teenage girl who spent most of the time crying and yelling "I love you, Dolly!" To my right was a drag queen who was of Latino origin, singing all the songs along with Dolly in accented English (think Hank Azaria's character in The Birdcage), and then there was Dolly. I love Dolly (not as much as my friend Kevin) and the first record I ever owned wasn't Alvin and the Chipmunks, it was 9 to 5 - and yes I love the movie too. She definitely still has it. Kenny was impressed with how many instruments she played and seemed to enjoy himself. This is great strides from someone who basically just listened to Classic 99 for the first few years I knew him. Then he moves in with me and it's Dolly Parton, Pink Floyd, Bill Monroe, Aretha Franklin..... Let's just say he's getting an education!

3. Having been to Nashville several times, I have always been disappointed that I have never been able to catch Vince Gill in concert. Any time I've been to the Opry, he's either been there the week before or the week after. However, that's all about to change. He is going to be here in the St. Louis area on Sept. 19th and Kenny got me tickets. Okay, I love his voice and his musical talent, but I think he's cute too. As I told Kenny, if I could have one get out of marriage free card, I'd have to reserve it for Vince Gill. I'm sure Amy Grant wouldn't appreciate that, but oh well. I'll post about the concert. Reviews have been positive. From what I've read, it's mostly acoustic, with him telling the stories behind how some of the songs came to be. Since I'm a die hard fan, I'm hoping for quite a bit of his bluegrass offerings. Yeah, I'm a nerd, but what can you expect from someone who grew up listening to Bill Monroe with my Grandpa and the Opry on Saturday nights? Now, if I can just convince Kenny to let me go to Bluegrass at the Ryman next summer, maybe I'll get to see Allison Kraus and Union Station.....

YUCK!

Sorry I haven't posted any pics or more stories about having the kids up to visit. I promise I will, things are just kind of crazy right now.

I have been busy this week with our PDC University, a series of workshops our District PDC puts on each summer, and with beginning the process of trying to put my room back together. I had to wait until I could get back in due to the yearly waxing of the floors. What I have discovered is that my new classroom has been the dumping ground for papers, files, unwanted supplies, etc. that any teacher who has retired, been fired, or left for greener pastures for the past few years. I have gone through more junk each night this week (think at least 3-4 hours a night after meetings) than I care to think about. Added to that is the fact that when I have went through boxes of papers, filing cabinets crammed through with ditto books, old student discipline logs, old notes from parents, I have been inundated with dead and live bugs. My skin is literally crawling as I write this. I'm assuming they have been drawn to the boxes and cabinets due to substances I'm sure were candy at one time stored in the boxes or stuck to the papers. I've managed to sort, recycle, and shred what needs to be shredded. I have to put some Science and Social Studies together for the 5th grade teachers to go through and my plan for tomorrow night is to thorougly clean every surface in the room and vacum up all of the bug carcasses littering my floor. I can't believe people would just dump their stuff. I'm truly disgusted and grossed out right now. I refuse to unpack anything of mine until the cleaning is complete. Believe me, I'm going to let my administrators know about this because people need to take care of their own messes. Our cleaning staff is chronically shorthanded, plus it's not their job to clean out teachers' closets, boxes, and files. I just had to vent and now I'm off to take a hot shower and scrub off real and imagined filth!

Wow, I'm tired!

Okay, Mellissa stayed with us for 11 days. We kept asking her if she was ready to go home and her response was always, "No." We took her home last Wednesday and proceeded to spend the 4th of July with my family, as is becoming our tradition. We had her with us for most of those days as well. To make a long story short, Mellissa, Mom, and Robbie returned with us on Monday. So, by the end of this week, Mellissa will have spent approximately 3 weeks with us this summer. Pretty amazing for a 2.5 year old, I think. She's having a blast, but the cats may not forgive me for this. I'll post more on that issue and pics later.

We went to the zoo yesterday (translation, 8 hours at the zoo- I think I'm half dead as I write this) and it's off to the Magic House tomorrow with Kenny's side of the family (Mike, Michelle, Ethan, Lucas) and (Lynn, Allison). Nothing like starting to blend the two families together. Hopefully we'll have fun.

Good Grief!

Pardon the expression, but Patches blew out her butt again. We had surgery number 2 yesterday morning and so far everything seems okay. Apparently the massive poo was a bit too massive and undid all of Dr. Stoltz's handiwork. Luckily, he charged me nothing for the surgery, just for the drugs to knock her out and a refill of the antibiotics. The antibiotics always crack me up since it is the same stuff they always gave me as a child for ear infections, you know the pink bubblegum liquid.

When we picked her up yesterday afternoon, she was really out of it. When I looked at her, all I could think of was she looked really stoned. She spent most of the night looking at us like she had no clue who we were and attempting to walk around while veering wildly from side to side and falling down quite frequently. We had to put up the baby gate to keep her from falling down the stairs. She ended up laying down on my bed around 6 last night and apparently slept off any negative aftereffects of the medicine. Luckily, her appetite is returning and we are continuing all the medicine to make sure she doesn't get constipated again.

Speaking of baby gates, my niece Mellissa is coming back with me this weekend from Malden. My mom (who babysits for her) and her parents need a break. When your brother and his wife threaten to FedEx your niece to you, you know it's time to go pick her up. I'm sure much hilarity will ensue in the next week and a half. She comes back with me on Sunday and we keep her until July 2nd. I am going to get a taste of what life was like for my mother - taking classes, trying to do homework, and keep up with a kid who apparently feels like about 3 kids due to her curiousity and energy level. She's already packing her bags according to my mom. Mom says not only do they need a break, she probably needs a break from them too. I'm just glad I can keep her, or at least I'm crazy enough to keep her!

On a more historical note, if anyone makes it up to St. Louis this summer, I would highly recommend going the see the Lee and Grant exhibit at the Missouri History Museum. It's free on Tuesdays! It was really cool to see the artifacts on loan from the Virginia Historical Society. The exhibit does an excellent job of telling the stories of these two men, how their lives were intertwined, and how both were a product of the time and cultures. They have the originals of Grant's letter to Lee outlining the terms of surrender and Lee's farewell to the Confederate Troops from Appomatox Courthouse. Very cool, especially if you're a history buff. Kenny and I joke that our idea of a vacation or something cool to see can most often be described as "Nerd-tastic!" If there's a Civil War battlefield within driving distance, you can bet we're plotting our route. Plan on hearing of more of these trips in the future. We're planning on a trip to Shiloh this summer as well as a trip to Ft. Pillow. In August we'll be headed to Nashville for a Boy Scout conference. What am I most excited about (okay, besides going to the Grand Ole Opry)? All the historical sights. I plan to explore The Hermitage and Belle Meade to my heart's content. I can go on a guided tour with groups from the Conference, but I'm afraid I'll be rushed and won't get to spend as much time as I'd like going through everything. I know, pathetic, but at least I'm a cheap date. Give me a battlefield, a sandwich, a soda, and a numerous historical markers to read and I'm as happy as a clam.

It's been like ER around our house....

I haven't posted because I've been too busy with a sick cat this week. It all started last Saturday afternoon. I noticed my cat Patch was walking funny. When I took a closer look at her, I noticed her rectum had protracted. This started happening with her about 2 years ago. The first time it happened, I literally freaked out. After a call to my vet, I found out that this sometimes happens in cats and that it typically goes back in all on its own. He told me if it didn't, I should rub some Preparation H on it and that should do the trick. Right.... my cat has claws, don't think so, doc! Anyway, I thought it would take care of itself in due time and let her hide like she always does when this occurs.

Unfortunately, it didn't go back in. By Monday morning, I was starting to panic. I called the vet and immediately got her an appointment. When we got there, Dr. Stoltz looked at her and said, "Uh-oh." Those are words I didn't want to hear. Instead of just a protracted rectum, we had now moved into the prolapsed rectum and that meant surgery. He then looked at Kenny and me and said, "I hope I can do the conservative surgery. I'll put her rectum back in her body, attach it inside with stitches, and then stitch up her anus like a drawstring to prevent it from coming back out. If that's not feasible, I'll have to amputate and that's the more extensive, drastic surgery." I'm sure the look on our faces was priceless. Hence I left Patch in Dr. Stoltz's capable hands and went home to wait by the phone.

The surgery went fine and he was able to take the conservative route, no amputation required. He told me I could come pick her up late Tuesday afternoon because she was a little lethargic and he wanted her to be more alert before she went home. I went to pick her up that afternoon and she was really out of it. He told me to continue her Duralactin medication that she takes for chronic cystitis, put her on soft food, and sprinkle said food with Epsom salts to make her poo soft where she could go without undoing his handiwork. Instead of Duralactin pills, they gave me liquid Duralactin to mix in with her food. She refused to eat her food. I tried tuna, but she wouldn't eat much of it with the Duralactin and the Epsom salts on it. In a fit of desperation, I tried to give her the Durlactin with a dropper. This made her foam at the mouth. Eventually, she started to nibble at the tuna, but we went from Saturday to Friday with her barely eating anything at all.

Yesterday morning, we took her in to have her stitches removed. When we got there, the news wasn't good. She had managed to chew out the stitches. While this wasn't the problem, Dr. Stoltz informed me that she was CONSTIPATED! His solution was that we needed to get her to go poo, but she was going to need some help. My first thought was, "OH GREAT! What's this going to involve?" While it wasn't as drastic as I was imagining, it still didn't sound fun. Dr. Stoltz put her on a product called Cat Lax (I'm not making this up). He told us that hopefully she'd lick it off our fingers or her paws if we smeared it on them. He assured us that this stuff, which comes in a tube like toothpaste, was stickier than peanut butter so the only option she would have for getting it off her paws would be to groom herself. If that didn't work, we were supposed to pry open her mouth and rub it on the roof of her mouth. Have I mentioned that she has all her claws and teeth? Envisioning being shredded and maimed by my pet, I reluctantly agreed and told him that we needed to switch back to powdered Duralactin. I was to increase the amount of Epsom salt I put on her food and even give her some mineral oil to "lube things up"( his words, not mine). He also proceeded to tell us that if she didn't go poo by Monday, we would have to try another option, such as a suppository or an enema! While I love my cat, this is something he would definitely be the one doing, not me or Kenny! We draw the line at administering some treatments.

We got her home and I braced myself for being soundly bitten while trying to administer the Cat Lax. I read the label and it has carmel and molasses in it and Patch loved it. I guess it's better than fish flavored cat treats because everytime we go to give her the daily dose, all we have to do is put it on our finger and she licks it off with no problem. I ended up giving her the mineral oil in a syringe that you use to give babies medicine. I expected she wouldn't take that well either, but she calmly lets me give her this and walks off like it's no big deal. While I was afraid that she wasn't eating soft food or tuna because of the Epsom salts, I discovered it must have been the liquid Duralactin that she didn't like because now that we're back to powdered Duralactin sprinkled on her food, she's been eating like she's starving (which she probably is after not eating for the better part of a week).

Dr. Stoltz told us that we were obviously going to have to check the litter box everytime she went in there to see if she did the deed. So, yesterday and today, Kenny and I have been checking the box on a regular basis and as much as I hate to admit it, it was like we'd hit the jackpot when she "worked things out". When I called home to wish my Dad Happy Father's Day and he asked me what we'd done today, I told him, "Oh, we just stayed around here waiting for Patches to poop." At this point, he got completely cracked up and then went on to ask me how things were going. Before I knew it, I was describing, to my father, what happened when Kenny discovered the results of her effort in the box! That's when it occured to me that my life has sunk to a new low and that we need to get out more often! Hopefully things will calm down and get back to normal around here, or at least as normal as things ever are in our house!

Some Resolution

As of right now, I know what I'm supposedly teaching next year. After I wrote my last post, I parked myself outside my principal's door and waited until he would see me. Actually, he tried to escape but I told him he had to talk to me sometime and if he wasn't supposed to talk to me because Central Office didn't want him to talk to me, then I was signing out and heading to central office to wait until someone would talk to me about my position for next year. He decided to talk to me and let me know what was going on with the whole situation/fiasco. Here's the main highlights of what transpired.

1. I'm no longer teaching Title I. I will be teaching academic at-risk 4th and 5th graders Communication Arts and Math all day in a regular classroom setting. I will have small groups of 10-12 students at a time, responsible for teaching all the GLEs, meeting with the parents, planning lessons, grading, etc. This is fine with me. Honestly, I think I need a change from what I've been doing for a while.

2. Here's where it gets interesting. The remaining two Title I teachers were informed that one of them would have to go teach Title I Reading at the Middle School for one hour. That went over like a ton of bricks. When one was told she would have to go, she stamped her foot and absolutely refused to do it. The other one informed them that she didn't want to do it and started scheming to find ways to get out of going to the Middle School. Her first idea was that the girl who took my place which was transferred to Central should have to do it. She was promptly informed that that young lady (who decided she wanted my Title I job even though I had more seniority) has to go for two hours to the Middle School (which she isn't happy about either). Her next idea was that the Art Teacher could go do it. She was told that the class must be taught by a reading specialist. Her next idea was that she didn't have the correct certification because her elementart degree only went to 6th grade. I took just a little bit of pleasure in informing her that she was certified to teach middle school because like me, her reading specialist certification is K-12. She then decided she wanted my academic at-risk job and fired off several rude letters to the Superintendent, Assistant Superintendent, and apparently a couple of School Board Members. This was on Thursday. By Friday, she decided she no longer wanted my job because it would be too much work, but the damage had already been done since she went ahead and e-mailed the letters.

3. As a result of the letters, she and the other Title I teacher in our building were called in for a special meeting last week where they were read the riot act for not being cooperative about meeting the needs of students, for being so hateful, for being insubordinate, for not following the chain of command by not talking to our principal, etc. When the demanded to know where I was (I'm not stupid, I made sure I was out of town when this meeting went down), they were informed that I wasn't required to attend it because I was no longer a Title Teacher and besides, I hadn't pitched a fit to get my way.

So what have I learned throughout all of the drama? One, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it, both good and bad. When all of this started in January, both of the Title teachers I worked with refused to leave Title I. My attitude was that I needed a job and would be willing to consider other teaching positions. Two, even though someone else may sometimes pull the "I'm a Schroeder and my mother was a Lakebrink, you know prominent founding families here" trick to obtain what you want (as did the young lady at Central who took my position in Title I), it sometimes backfires on you and you get more than what you bargained for. Three, you are more apt to come out ahead if you act in a reasonable manner and don't throw hissy fits and tantrums to get what you want. Oh, they got to stay in Title I all right, but now they have to go to the Middle School which is totally out of control. Four, I really need this summer. I need the summer to plan for the upcoming year and to not spend time with anyone from school. Quite frankly, I'm sick of the fighting and the backbiting and am enjoying not seeing anyone that makes my blood boil!

Limbo

Sorry for the silence, but I'm still in limbo. As of today, I still have no idea what I'm teaching, which building I'm going to be in, anything. To say the lack of professionalism is getting on my nerves is an understatement. What's even worse, the principal is avoiding me and won't make eye contact or speak to me on the rare occasions I do happen to encounter him in the hall. I want to go up to him and say, "Just grow a pair and tell me what's going on with my position." I hate all of the political crap and avoidance tactics that go on in schools. On the plus side, they offered me a tenure contract and I signed it (yes, I kept the duplicates at home), so they have to pay me a salary even if they can't find a position for me. Unfortunately, all of the other positions I'm qualified to teach they have already filled. I'm a little ticked that they can manage to tell the new hires what position they will have but they can't manage to figure it out with me who has worked here, doing a fine job according to all of my evaluations, for 5 years. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

I'm a what???

I'm a dominoe, or so I'm being told by the powers that be at school. They still haven't told me where and what I'm going to be teaching next year! They were supposed to tell me by the 28th of March. They were supposed to tell me by April 4th, 11th, 18th, and now they're telling me the dominoes are still falling and they're not sure where I am going to land. This has been hanging over me since January. Now the other two reading teachers are kind of freaking out because they've just realized that if I'm not here next year, all of the paperwork I've taken care of for the past 4 years will now be up to them. When asked about what forms I planned on revising for next year, I informed them that if I was moved into a regular classroom in another building that I wouldn't have time to do the paperwork next year, that it would be their responsibility. I just want it decided before the middle or the end of July so I can start preparing over the summer, especially if they move me to first grade with a curriculum I've never taught. More importantly, I just wish the rumors would stop flying and everyone would leave me alone and quit asking me a hundred times a day, "Have you heard anything?" I'm just a lowly domino. They're not going to tell me anything.

Why Bother?

I had class yesterday and I found out that the group project isn't going to be that bad. I was a little concerned until I found out who was in my group. We quickly made a task list, assigned each one our jobs, and set up our next meeting.

One interesting piece of information came from one of the other group members. All of us in our class got to comparing grades. No one in the class has higher than a low B average. Then we got to comparing our scores on individual assignments as well as the "notes" the professor (the minion of Satan) had made. Amazingly, we all had the same notes which read: "Not specific." That's it. What's not specific? Is it my examples? Is it my sentences? Is it my information? What? When one of my fellow group members, Sean, e-mailed the professor and asked him to elaborate and give him some pointers or examples of how specific he wants us to be to get an A, he wrote Sean back and told him that if he was truly capable of graduate level work, he wouldn't be asking this question. What? The last time I checked, there were several students in my class, including Sean, who are card carrying members of MENSA. I'm not one of them, but I'm not the dullest tool in the shed either. I hold my on and do quite well, even in difficult classes that are a lot of work. I've never been afraid of working hard. Then the e-mail went on to state that he starts grading at a B and goes down from there. Then why bother putting forth an A effort if all that's possible is a B? At least if I do B work, I'll have earned my B. To say that I'm looking forward to the end of this class is an understatement. Once again, I'm going to have to write a very negative evaluation. I hate to be that way, but sometimes it has to be done. When I taught in a regular classroom, I didn't run my class this way. If you did A work, you earned an A. If you did B work, you earned a B. I didn't grade easy either, but I was fair. In my mind, that's what a good teacher or professor does, but apparently not this guy. It just ticks me off that I've spent an entire semester struggling along with my fellow students, not getting any help from our professor, being made to feel stupid everytime we ask questions, and we paid over a thousand dollars for this class. I don't think I'm getting my money's worth.

Freedom is close...

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I only have one more project due for this semester. What is not so cool is that it's a group project and according to e-mail from my professor who is a minion of Satan, everyone in the group will get the same grade. Translation: one or two of us will do the work, the rest will slide and get the same grade. I thought I left this kind of crap behind as an undergrad. I'm wanting to rebel, but I need my grade first!

In this season of severe weather and MAP testing....

For all of my teacher friends out there, here's a humorous addition to all of those pesky testing protocols we're supposed to follow, courtesy of our school counselor.

With the possibility of sever weather ahead of us I am forwarding you some additional test security protocol. Please read carefully, as you will be held accountable.

Severe Weather Testing Protocols During Testing*

1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing,
please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be
a testing irregularity and must be reported.

2. Please do not look out the window to watch for
approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all
times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and
must be reported.

3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin
to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing
materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.

4. Should a flying object come through your window during
testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not
land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make
sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it
will not disturb the students while testing.

5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying
into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield
their testing materials so that they will not be damaged.
Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one
accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer
sheets will not scan properly.

6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff
their test booklets and answer sheets into their
shirts...being very careful not to bend them because bent
answer documents will not scan properly.

7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel
cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before
departing...and of course make sure they leave their answer
sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account
for those.

8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator,
up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be
required to account for all of your testing materials when
you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once
you have checked them out, they should never leave your
hands.

9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble,
please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or
handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for
your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking
your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to
sift through the rubble for lost tests...unless of course
they have been through standardized test training.

10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation
arise. Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a
student might mark in the wrong section if you are praying
instead of monitoring. I'm sure God will put war, world
hunger, crime, and the presidential primaries on hold until
after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.

Good News!

Sebrina found out today that she got the job! As of May 12th, she'll be working and living in Springfield, MO. Keep her and Joe in your prayers as they make the move out this week and she makes the flight back to finish out the school year.

My fate is being decided this evening at the school board meeting. Hopefully I'll be able to post what I'll be teaching next year. In a way, I really am hoping for the 1st grade position. I think it may be time for a change and once again being on my own in a classroom. I'll keep you posted as the news comes down the line.

Life Update

Sorry for no communication. The month of March roared in and out like a lion for me! I'm still not caught up on all of the stuff I'm supposed to get done, but I'm gradually learning to live with this perpetual feeling of futility!

1. Job: I'm not sure where and what I'm going to be teaching next year. In January, we were informed that it might be possible that one of the reading teachers in our building would be moved to a lower elementary building. One of the other teachers pounded her fist on the desk and basically said she wasn't moving and they couldn't make her move. The other one slapped me on the back and said, "It's been nice working with you." My response was, "I need a job." I hate to tell the other two, the boss can tell you where you're going and even if you're tenured, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. As a result, things have been a little tense. Our assistant superintendent has met with me and asked me what I'd be willing to teach. I told her I've gone as high in the grades as I need to go. If I've learned anything from teaching 7th grade PSR it's that I do not have the gift for teaching junior high students. There may be the possibility of me teaching a 1st grade at-risk classroom. Everyone thinks I'm insane, but I figure 15 at risk students with a teacher's aid is nothing compared to the 100 at-risk 5th and 6th graders I deal with every day right now. Up here, at-risk would pretty much be my entire class in Matthews. At least in 1st grade I doubt any of them would be stealing their parent's car to go to their gang initiation. (Yep, that happened with one of my 4th graders when I was teaching in Matthews.) So, in my opinion, at-risk is a relative term.

2. School: Why do technology classes have to be written in a language that at first appears to be English, but is really a foreign language? Why do the professors who teach the technology classes think their class is the only class that is worth anything and assign copious amounts of homework and readings that leave you with very little time to devote to another class or things like laundry and bathing? Why do male, Chinese professors have to be butt-heads to American females? Why do deans do nothing when a professor's completely unprofessional behavior is pointed out to them by the teaching assistants and students? Translation, I'm slogging my way through my latest technology class and asking no questions of the professor since I don't enjoy ridicule he dishes out to any woman in my class who asks a question he feels is, "OBVIOUSLY CLEARLY STATED IN THE ASSIGNED READINGS, if you'd bother to read them." Guess what, we've read them and the information is still as clear as mud. I'm just waiting to vent on the class evaluation. Maybe someone in an office at the University will pick up that this guy is a major tool.

3. Good News: My best friend, Sebrina, will be moving back to Missouri in a few short months. Her husband, Joe, has been hired to work in a TB lab in Mt. Vernon, MO. She's applied for a position at SMS (I think they call it Missouri State now), but hasn't heard back. As of right now, they are planning to pack up the entire contents of their house, load the truck on April 9th, and set out for MO on April 10th. Joe starts work on the 16th and Sebrina flies back to finish out the school year in North Carolina . At the end of the year, she'll drive out and join him in their new home in Springfield. WHOO HOO! It will be great to have her back in the state, especially only about 3 hours away. It's a lot better than the 10-14 hour drive to North Carolina! Send good thoughts and prayers their way that she'll get the job at the University and everything with their move will go well and that they'll both be safe during all the trips.

Avenue Q

For my Valentine's Day gift, Kenny got us tickets to Avenue Q at the Fox. Just let me say that if you want a good laugh, I hope you get the chance to see this show. For those of us who grew up watching Sesame Street, it's a riot. Just bear in mind, it's definitely an adult show so leave the little ones at home, no matter how much they beg and plead to go see "the muppets" as my nephew referred to them. Here's a link to a little bit of info on the show if you're not familiar with it.
Avenue Q

ARGHH!

"If metadata is data about data, then meta-metadata is data about the data about data." p.150
The Organization of Information
This is a quote from my textbook for one of my classes this semester. This is my second time through Chapter 6 and this sentence is an example of the writing in this book. My brain is about to explode!

Valentine's Day Gifts

Kenny and I are not the "into" Valentine's Day thing. For most of our lives, both of us celebrated this holiday alone, so I guess you could say we were more of the anti-Valentine's Day kind of people. But now that we're engaged, everyone has been asking me at school, "What are you two doing for Valentine's Day? Are you getting him a "special" gift?" They can't believe it when I respond, "We'll be cleaning house since my parents and niece and nephew will be visiting this weekend. I'll probably be doing some homework. We'll be trying to get everything done before 9:00 so we can watch our favorite show Ace of Cakes." Then they look at me like I'm an idiot. One even went so far as to say, "Oh, I guess getting engaged killed the romance."

No, getting engaged didn't kill the romance. Kenny and I kind of laugh about our tendancy to buy each other practical gifts for any occasion, or at least gifts that the other one really likes or wants. For instance, our main gift to each other at Christmas was an exercise bike. I did get him the final season of Hogan's Heroes. he got me a cover for my Kitchen Aid mixer and a salad spinner (this gift is a blast to use. I try to fix food that lets me use the salad spinner frequently.) So for Valentine's Day, there will be no silk boxer shorts or lingerie or stuffed animals. I may get flowers because he knows I love flowers but won't buy fresh flowers for myself because it's a frivilous expense. We might get each other a package of our favorite candy because it's a treat, but no diamonds, no frou-frou gifts. Kenny received his gift on Sunday because he was sick, I figured he could use a pick-me-up, and we were talking about what a drag it is to always drag out the vacuum cleaner to vacum up small messes in our kitchen. So here's his Valentine's Day gift:

I got him a Dustbuster. Instead of being bummed out, he couldn't wait to charge it up and try it out. When I told the people I eat lunch with what I got him on Monday, they all looked at me like I was crazy. One said, "But that's not romantic!" No it may not be romantic, but it is something he wanted and we both appreciate it. So on Valentine's Day, do what makes you spouse or partner happy. He's had way more fun playing with the dustbuster than he would with a stupid pair of boxers with bright red lips on them!

Super Tuesday and Fat Tuesday

It's Super Tuesday and I have already done my civic duty and went and voted. It was the first time for me voting in town and not in the little village of Krakow where I lived for the first 3 and a half years since moving to the Washington area. One of the things I realized when I went to vote is that I've apparently moved into a Republican neighborhood. When I walked to the table to pick up my ballot, the older lady sitting there didn't ask me which ballot I wanted. She automatically handed me the Republican ballot. I saw the elephant on the top of the ballot and said, "I need the other one please." You would have thought I'd grown two heads right there in the polling place. Oh well, there needs to be a rebel in every neighborhood and if I'm the rebel just because I voted for "the other party" so be it. In any case, I figure it's just a matter of time before our lovely Archbishop makes the pronouncement that if you voted for a Democrat to not present yourself for Communion, as he did in 2004. I enjoyed casting my "scandalous" vote and plan on continuing to go to Communion because I voted my conscience on multiple issues not jut one.

It's also Mardi Gras. While I didn't have time to make my King Cake (a fact noticed by the teachers I work with at school), I ate a big old hamburger tonight for supper. I also indulged in a bit of after school tv watching that I usually Tivo, namely Ellen's Mardi Gras show. Last night, I watched Anthony Bourdain's show No Reservations. He was in New Orleans talking about what the restaurant trade has been through since Hurrican Katrina. Two years later, I found myself fuming at the pictures taken then and now in a city that holds a special place in my heart. Like Brooke over at The Four of Clubbs, I tend to not publicly voice my political opinions. However, I find what has happened in New Orleans and Mississippi reprehensible. While we can spend billions of dollars in a foreign country that we invaded even though our leaders were told that there was no credible link to Osama Bin Laden and there really weren't weapons of mass destruction, we can't seem to get real help, without tons of red tape and hoops to jump through, to AMERICANS who truly need help to get their lives and homes back together. If you feel moved to contribute to the rebuilding and cleanup efforts going on in the area (and face it, a lot of the work and money is coming from volunteers) there are several worthy ways to get help out. Check out Habitat for Humanity along with Make it Right and the Musician's Village. Even a little bit helps and the need is still great.

Jeep Liberty |

I must say, this is my favorite commercial of the past six months. I howl (no pun intended) everytime it comes on TV.

Karma

This is my ex-sister-in-law's car. While I usually don't take joy in other people's misfortune, I had to chuckle over this one. It's usually someone in my immediate family who is the wrong place at the wrong time. As my brother said, he should send this in to Mastercard for the following commercial:
Divorce: $1200
Bills left over from the 1st marriage: $38000 (That she walked away from without helping my brother pay for; yeah, I kind of have a problem with that one.)
Seeing a tree fall on your ex-wife's car after she dropped the insurance: Priceless
Don't worry, she has a new car to drive, so I'm not totally heartless. She was selling this one because the computer went out on it. I know, I know, I need to go to confession for even thinking perhaps this is some sort of karmic justice. But after watching my family go through the hell their marriage and divorce has put us through, especially my parents, it does make me wonder if what goes around comes around in one way or another.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

Our school counselor e-mailed this picture to me. Notice the power strip floating on flip flops? Here's the picture that should be by the definition of "idiot" in the dictionary!

What's In a Name?

Well, I think a lot is in a name. It is a common practice to name a child after someone in the Bible or after a saint, with the hope that the child will become someone of faith themselves or exhibit the good qualities of the person they're named after. Names, in a large part, end up defining who we are. I'm a Debbie; I can't imagine being named anything else. Our names are one of the first words we learn. We learn to respond to it before we know how to talk. It's one of the very first words we learn to spell and write. Whether we like it or not, we're stuck with our names for life, for the most part. Our names aren't like a pair of shoes; if you don't like your name, it's not easy to get rid of it As a result, I think parents give a lot of thought to names. Well, most parents that is.

I've been doing quite a bit of paperwork at school this week, and I've come to realize that some parents may not view naming a child with the long term consequences of giving their child a particular name. Either that or they were completely on drugs, both legal and illicit, when choosing their children's names. How do I know this? Here is my proof - names of students either I have now or have had in the past:

Chiquita (as in the banana)
Campbells (as in the soup)
Boston (after the band, not the city) (Okay, maybe I can let that one slide.)
Nutter (Don't ask! This is a boy's given name in our school- I checked out the copy of his birth certificate in his permanent file. Perhaps after Nutter Butters?)
Tiass (I have no idea, but you can imagine how she got made fun of the year I had her in class.)
Tarantula (Yep, like the spider.)
and my last two personal favorites
Diamond
and
Desire

Honestly, I think the parents of the last two girls didn't realize that they were giving their daughters stripper/hooker names. At least I hope they didn't. Unfortunately, their preteen daughters come to school every day dressed like women who practice those professions. So, maybe our names help give us a sense of who we are or at least a sense of style. I don't know. I just hope I'll stop and think about the names I give to my child and don't saddle them with a name that is cheap or brings about lifelong taunting by their peers.

Fun on TheraFlu

I've managed to catch the flu from the rugrats again this year. As a result, I'm at home, drugged up, watching stuff on the TV during bouts of being awake and going back to sleep. During the day, there's this show called A Haunting on the Discovery Channel. Here's a handy piece of advice for you. Don't take cold medicine, lay down, and go to sleep watching this show. You want to talk about messed up dreams. I have enough messed up dreams when I'm feeling relatively normal, so you can only imagine what my dreams are like when I'm sick, on drugs, and fall asleep watching some tv show about a house that's possessed by demons due to the previous owners being devil worshippers holding black masses and the demons are now attacking the new owners. WHOA! Not fun, not fun at all.

On the other hand, I fell asleep later on this afternoon after another bout of medicine with the TV on CMT and they've got this show on alled 20 Greatest Redneck Moments. As I'm drifting off to sleep I hear the song "Convoy". Now, since I've been awake, this song is stuck in my head. All I need is to switch to a movie channel and fall asleep to reruns of Smoky and the Bandit. I love being on cold medicine.

Warning, Teacher Rant in Progress

I wouldn't call this a kicking, screaming rant, but more of an "I don't get it" rant. We are required to do mid-year reading tests in our program. The test we have to give takes 2 days, 20 minutes for Vocabulary, 35 minutes for comprehension. We have found that before Christmas is not a good time to take the tests - the kids are hyped up on way too much sugar. The first week back isn't good either, we're dealing with slugs. Literally, my students slink into my room that first week in January looking like slugs. So, we give it the second week back to school.

Okay, here's what I don't get. In every class, I heard some variation of I don't want to do this. The lady I team teach with finally lost it yesterday afternoon and told one of our more obnoxious students, "I don't recall asking you what you wanted to do." Then one of our more difficult students said, "Can I flunk this? What happens if I flunk this? I'm not even gonna try because they don't give me a grade for this." I wanted to tell this student, "No, you don't get a grade, but this is recorded on your permanent records, so if you want to look like a moron, go right ahead." I didn't say that but gave the you-need-to-do-your-best speech with helpful hints on what to do if you get stuck. When I was a student, I can't remember saying to a teacher "I don't want to do this," and it making a big difference. I got to thinking about saying something like this to Mrs. Rascher, or Mrs. Blough, or any of the other teachers I had in High School or even my professors in college. Yeah, that would have went over like a ton of bricks in any of my classes. Heck, it would go over like a ton of bricks now at my classes at MU. Where do these kids get the idea that they just don't have to do anything they don't want to do? What's going to happen to them when they have to get a job and the boss tells them to do something that they don't want to do? Does telling their parents that they don't want to do something get them out of chores at home? It would have gotten me a blistered backside and I still would have had to do what my parents told me.

So we do the vocab part. The student who said he wasn't going to try didn't. We kept telling him to slow down, check his answers, blah, blah, blah. I graded the vocab part last night and he bombed it. When I handed the answer sheet back to him today to complete the comprehension section, he yelled at me, "Why did you make me miss all of these?" Excuse me, I didn't make you miss all of them. I should have sent him to the office, or assigned him a detention. Unfortunately, that wouldn't make a difference or change the behavior. In our school, it's like a badge of honor to see how many detentions you can get assigned. What I would really like to do is smack him upside his head and tell him to wake up, not everything in life is easy, and he's going to have to do a lot of things he doesn't want to do or he'll find himself living in a van down by the river (sometimes Chris Farley said some relevant things)or living in his parents' basement. I wonder if his parents plan on supporting him because he won't be able to hold down most jobs with the attitude that he has. He didn't try on the comprehension section, so even though we've worked our tails off this semester to show improvement in his reading level, when I finish scoring his test, it's going to stink. That low score is what will be recorded and quite frankly will be the bottom line when the adminsitration looks at how effective our program is.

To add insult to injury, last night I happened to be glancing through the want ads in the local paper. The St. Charles County Sheriff's Dept. has an opening for a dispatcher. This job provides full benefits and requires only a high school diploma. When I looked at the salary, I wanted to cry. Starting salary for this job, which only requires a high school diploma, is $500 less than what I earn right now with 10 years of experience and a master's degree. Yet people wonder why teachers are leaving the field and you're considered a veteran after 5 years. Reading something like that and dealing with the kids I deal with on a daily basis makes me wonder why I am doing this job at all. But days like I've had this week make me more worried about what our country is going to look like in about 20 years.

Fun TV Watching

Okay, by now you all realize that like every other bride-to-be, I am slowly becoming fascinated by wedding shows. Well, I've found a new one. If you happen to be sitting at home on a Friday night, may I suggest checking out CMT's "Redneck Wedding". It's hosted by Tom Arnold (there's a joke there, I'm sure) and on this show, you will see some of the most messed-up folk on the planet. Consider it a primer on what not to do if you want to plan a wedding that is normal. Kenny and I sat there and he kept asking if this was for real, which I told him I'm sure it probably was for real if not a little hyped up for the cameras. It's pretty sad, yet funny in an "I know people who would do this" kind of way. It comes on right before or right after Country Fried Videos (which Kenny fondly refers to as my family videos). I retalliate and find shows about gangsters and The Godfather and ask him if this looks familiar. While my family may seriously consider putting a picture of the buck that was shot during deer season on the front of their Christmas cards, I can honestly say that no one in my family blew up their home making illegal hooch during Prohibition. This is the claim to fame one of his ancestors has apparently. In any case, the show is good for a few laughs, but don't expect ANYTHING like it from us.